Why Healing Is A Journey Back To Your Authentic Self
At the deepest level, the path to creating the life we want is a homecoming back to our authentic self. Our authentic self is our true nature; it’s who we were before parents, caregivers, family, religion etc… told us who to be.
No one consciously suppresses their true self. We learn to do it as part of our survival programming. We all go through the process of fine tuning our behaviors based on our environment in order to ensure that our most basic needs to feel love, safety and belonging are met. From a young age, we’re constantly bargaining with our world; how much of my true self can I be while still being seen as acceptable and part of the tribe.
To be clear, lack of authenticity is different than being “fake”. It’s not a conscious decision to deceive others. It’s a learned response and survival mechanism to belong.
Depending on life circumstances, some had to give up less of their authenticity to receive love and care while others traded way more than they could afford, disconnecting totally from their true selves as a way to cope with family trauma, dysfunction or abuse.
All of us have had wounding that caused us in some ways to put on various masks to cope. And all survival masks leave their marks on the nervous system, installing limiting beliefs and distorting the perception of who we really are.
Sadly, this process gets exacerbated by social media and societal pressures and before we know it, the cost of this misalignment between our inner and outer selves is at the root of of our suffering.
Signs Of Being Disconnected From Our Authentic Self
Co-dependent relationships
People pleasing behaviors
Perfectionism
Fake positivity
Chronic busyness
Avoiding confrontation at all costs
Overdependent on external validation
Chronic resentment
Self sabotage
Addictive behaviors
Anxiety
Depression
Emotional reactivity
Feeling like a victim of life
Living on autopilot
Afraid of being judged all the time
There’s a special kind of depletion that we feel when we’re living out of sync with who we really are because it drains our core vitality. The journey back to our authentic self boils down to cultivating awareness of our own emotions and beliefs. It often starts with taking charge of our inner dialogue, releasing commitments that drain our energy and prioritizing our joy. It’s about learning to rely more on our gut intuition than our thinking mind.
Discovering our authentic self is a sacred process that needs presence, so tools like meditation, yoga, breath work, being in nature are powerful ways to move our life force energy in the direction of calm, insight and unconditional self love.
Most of all connecting to your authentic self is remembering to stand in your own inborn magnificence. You have always been whole and complete. You are so much more than your body, your mind, achievements and failures. Your worth is already inherent in who you are. There is nothing to change or fix, your authentic self only waits for permission to be expressed.
For more on this, listen to this week’s podcast: Transcending Fear and Childhood Trauma By Coming Home To Your Authentic Self – With Life Coach and Author Terri Kozlowski
