The Challenge of Feeling Good Enough
The feeling of not being good enough is an all too common experience at the root of our struggles to create the health and happiness we desire.
My youngest is applying to colleges now and I’m watching her navigate a rite of passage that’s bringing all such feelings to the forefront.
There’s just so much in our human experience that has us constantly comparing ourselves to others, evaluating how we measure up to some non existent ideal and being judged or valued based on performance or standing.
It’s a sketchy societal norm that unfortunately has many of us feeling overwhelmed, insecure and falling short a lot of the time.
The toxic belief we all carry to varying degrees is that our worth is measured by what we do instead of who we are. We try to get rid of feeling not good enough by achieving more and more. But achieving to feel worthy is a slippery slope that can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, compulsive behaviors, unhealthy relationships and ultimately a life that is not authentically who we are meant to be.
Encouraged to believe from a young age that life is a competition, measured by major accomplishments, our whole lives are set up to be a rat race. It can make finding our own true path difficult.
The desire to be better than or at least not worse than someone else makes our inner voice highly crtical and over time we show ourselves less and less compassion. Throw in perfectionism, unresolved childhood trauma, racial or cultural oppression and it’s no wonder there is an epidemic of not-enoughness.
It’s only in this past decade of my life that I’ve evolved my self concept and consciously dissolved my own limiting beliefs around feeling worthy and enough. Of course, there’s always more to release when it comes to old patterns as I’m reminded when I find myself triggered from time to time. But I’m grateful that it’s rare these days that I get caught up in “should-ing” myself.
I recognize that everyone, including my daughter, is on their own unique journey back to knowing their enough-ness. I’ve come to see that it’s actually a fundamental part of the deal while we’re here.
It’s why reconnecting with our enough-ness doesn’t happen in the flurry of all the “doing”. The process can’t be rushed, it takes time and attention. It takes a slowing down, a sitting with, and simply being. It’s a multi-sensory experience learning to see and accept yourself just as you are and tend to your emotional self with kindness and an open heart.
The moment you know you are enough EVERYTHING in your life changes for the better.
The only question is, “Are You Ready?”