Ep#124 Recovering My True Self – Melissa Mayer, Author, Holistic Physical Therapist, Energy Healer

0 (1s):
Welcome to the Soul Science Nutrition Podcast, where you’ll discover that when it comes to your health, you are so much more powerful than you’ve been led to believe. And now your host, She’s a Holistic Nutrition and Lifestyle Coach, Chef, Author, and Yogi Christine Okezie.

Christine Okezie (23s):
Hello and welcome to the Soul Science Nutrition Podcast. I’m Christine Okezie. Thanks so much for being here. One of my favorite quotes is from Carl Young, “He who looks outside dreams. He who looks inside awakens.” Well, today’s guest is Melissa Mayer, and her authenticity and devotion to self discovery inspires us to seek the deeper truth in the trajectory of our lives. Melissa Mayer is a highly regarded, holistic physical therapist and the author of the empowering book, “Recovering My True Self,” which is about her transformational journey through parenthood, her struggles with food and alcohol, creative recovery, all culminating in her donating her kidney to her husband, Melissa shares how her recovery from surgery led to a more powerful and deeper spiritual connection that allowed for a better, more fulfilled life, all of which led her to her true self.

Christine Okezie (1m 21s):
Melissa’s story of gratitude and inner resilience shows us our inherent capacity to transform everyday obstacles into miraculous opportunities. I can’t wait for you to listen in on this wonderful conversation with Melissa, and I’d love to hear from you. So take a moment, if you will, and visit Apple Podcast. Leave a rating review. And if you have, thank you so much. It’s wonderful to hear from all of you. And please hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already, so you don’t miss an episode. Thanks so much for being here, everyone, and enjoy the episode. Hi, Melissa. So good to have you here. Welcome.

Melissa Mayer (1m 57s):
Thank you, Christine. Such an honor to be with you.

Christine Okezie (2m 0s):
Excellent. I loved your new book, and I would love to really start with what was the inspiration for writing, recovering my true self?

Melissa Mayer (2m 10s):
Well, it was interesting. I had a premonition to write a book in December, 2017. So I was just sitting on the couch with my husband. My background was in physical therapy and holistic physical therapy, and it was just kind, It was, it was kind of random. I, I just blurted out to my husband, I think I wanna write a book. And my husband, who was, who is incredibly supportive, just kind of nod at his head and smiled and was like, Okay. And you know, there was a little bit of, you know, a foreshadowing and I was reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and I was doing 12 week self-study course in creative recovery, which was mind blowing, astounding.

Melissa Mayer (2m 56s):
I recommend to everybody. I was uncovering my creative self and thought I’d write a book maybe about that. You know, I wasn’t really even sure what the book would be about. And then fast forward a couple months to the spring, we found out my husband needed a kidney transplant. We had known that this would happen at some point in our lives. He had been follow, been followed closely by Nephrologists through the years starting as a child. So it wasn’t a complete surprise, but we didn’t know the timing of when I had been tested years ago, along with a handful of family and friends to be the donor. So we knew that I would be the donor, but after they found out I was a match, which was miraculous, they said, Okay, we can put this on hold.

Melissa Mayer (3m 45s):
And kind of, it was at a critical moment, but they said, We can really wait till the critical moment, you know, so he doesn’t have to have unnecessary surgery. They said that could be a year, that could be two years. We, we really, they really didn’t know, but it turned out to be seven years. So those seven years I had kind of put it in the back of my mind. I didn’t wanna talk about it. I didn’t wanna manifest it sooner than it had to happen. We had small children, we were very focused on them. He was going to his physicians every three to six months, checking in, doing blood work, making sure that his creatinine didn’t rise to a more critical level than it was at, but still it was all on hold. And then that spring they were like, It’s time.

Melissa Mayer (4m 26s):
So, and even that was a surprise of like, well, what does that look like? And the couple months unfolded over the summer and the transplant was that August, 2018. So that was really ended up being a lot of content in my book. And really the yes, that was a very transformational moment, as I’m sure you could imagine. Yes. And so the book ended up being, that ended up being the really, the, the kind of the heart of the book that the book revolves around. But definitely my early work leading up to it. And, you know, the miraculous kinda spiritual transformation I experienced in the aftermath and in the recovery and just the deeper connection with my true self.

Christine Okezie (5m 12s):
Thank you for that, for that chronology of events. And so it sounds like you were on the path, you were asking important questions and finding tools, you know, to help you seek truth, you know, seek, seek meaning more meaning in in your experiences, in your path.

Melissa Mayer (5m 31s):
Yeah, well, kind of as we were talking about earlier, I mean, I, I started practicing yoga in high school. My dad had practiced and so I did it with him. And I think that definitely, I think, you know, I think we’re all seekers and just being a highly sensitive child and kind of not understanding what that meant and kind of finding refuge in yoga and metaphysics and then seeing that there was a whole community of people asking questions of who we are, why we’re here, why are the thoughts that go through our head that they do. Like, especially Eck Art Toley, when I was coming of age was really profound. So I think I just had so much refuge and safety in all the work that I would just find through the years and self-help books, metaphysics, Yoga Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Esther Hicks, you know, all those things.

Melissa Mayer (6m 22s):
Just love it laid this foundation of, you know, of, of me finding who I was and then finding deeper what my work is. And you know, I mean, I, physical therapy was a calling pretty early on. Okay. But really the deeper therapy that I wanted to do, the deeper healing Yeah. Manifested and unfolded through the years through that seeking, through that learning, through that journeying and then ultimately the transformation through my book and the kidney transplant really helped me land where I am doing deep healing work with, with patients. And it’s, it’s been, it’s been such a miraculous and extraordinary journey that I’m so grateful.

Christine Okezie (7m 4s):
Yes, yes. Thank you. So tell us a little bit about that, just some background. You started out we’re very much working with the physical body anatomy, you know, physiology, really understanding just the mechanics of the body. How did you come to do the work that you do now, which is really bridging more traditional with more quote unquote holistic, you know, approaches to healing and, and the physical body. It’s fascinating.

Melissa Mayer (7m 30s):
Yeah, thanks. So, I mean, you know, I had, growing up, I think I had more thoughts that I was, you know, we had these beliefs about ourselves that I was more of a science minded person. So, you know, it felt natural to me to like study the sciences. And then I liked sports, I like athletics, so, you know, and then I had an undergrad degree in marine science and, you know, I, I just kind of, it just was this bridge to start learning in a very traditional way about the body and the medical model. And I’m glad I did because, you know, I do feel like a lot of times we have to learn the rules before we know how to break them.

Melissa Mayer (8m 10s):
It’s, it’s a really complicated world, you know, in terms of healing and, you know, medicine in our medical model as we know. So I’m glad I have the background and experience to help people navigate that system. And also just safety, the red flags of learning about the very, very physical body. And then just working in hospitals in New York City doing home care, working in outpatient sports clinics and, you know, kind of doing that high level work with athletes and such was just all really, really valuable in the foundation that I was able to lay. And then, but all along I could see, you know, we’re missing, we’re missing some things here as I’m sure anybody that goes to a doctor and goes to a tradit.

Melissa Mayer (8m 59s):
You know, I mean, just the, the stress you feel when you walk in, you know, the stress you feel from, you know, the God bless the administrators and you know, the people that have to do the insurance billing and paperwork. My gosh, it is so trying on them. And you feel that when you walk in you from the practitioners, that they are overworked Yes. And very overstressed and that they need healing themselves. Exactly. You come and asking for healing from people that are, you know, so overextended. Yes. And it just feels like something’s missing. I mean, you know, we see in the best hospitals in the world, you know, the food that they’re serving to the base, they’ve had million dollar surgeries that by the best people on the planet.

Melissa Mayer (9m 40s):
So, you know, I think we’ve all seen that, that limitation. And it just got to the point where, you know, I just couldn’t do it anymore. And then luckily, you know, me, my children were born, which kind of gave me a, a break from my work. And I always thought that I would continue working while they were young. But I just got very, you know, we talked about the path of seeking and, and parenting Mm. Is the ultimate seeking. I mean, it was just watching humans, young babies come into their bodies, seeing they are born with this light and then watching them develop is just, I could, I loved it. And then thankfully the work of Kim Jon Pain and Simplicity, Parenting and Waldorf Education and Rudolph Steiner, I had a whole new world of a whole body of education books and seeking to, to embrace.

Melissa Mayer (10m 32s):
And I did. And I loved it cuz I learned so much about myself. I learned about growing up and who I was growing up and kind of where, I don’t wanna say I got off my path, I was path, we’re always on the path. Just, it takes some turns. So, so I guess this is a long way of saying that, you know, parenting kind of was the bridge of all the holistics that really gave me, And then the transplant, of course, just the real conviction to say, this is the work I wanna be doing. I mean, this has been years and years coming and after the transplant, I had gone back to yoga and had connected with yoga teacher that I had practiced with.

Melissa Mayer (11m 12s):
And she said, Why don’t you just see patients here? You know, I have a private room people that are injured from yoga. And I said, Yes, that’s perfect. So I started there and then my patients were like, We can come to your house. You know, like we don’t, you know, have to, you know, work through the studio per se. So this way I could, you know, charge them less. And it was just a little easier in terms of scheduling. Yes. And then covid happened and you know, like many of us, we did renovations to our homes and change the way we worked. So I built a whole, we built a whole healing space in our house that had a separate entrance that was Wow. Really safe to keep it, you know, So it just, it just all unfolded. And I think, you know, a lot of us in this work know when you’re ready, you know, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Melissa Mayer (11m 54s):
It’s just like, you know, when you’re ready to take those steps, the universe is incredible. And it’s conspiring to just open those doors and say, Here you go. You

Christine Okezie (12m 2s):
Know? Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Oh my gosh. Thank you. You know, you, you mentioned yoga that was, was a gateway. You mentioned the Waldorf School and sort of conscious parenting being another venue or pathway into natural health and a more conscious, you know, way to be with little ones and and development. They might in and own self seem so routine. But what I think I’m hearing is that they really became which source of kind of growth and development for you to look at yourself and to see, you know, who was I maybe before I was a mom, You know, what are some of the patterns there, and then who am I? Cause one of the things you mentioned in your book was that your path of self discovery helped you navigate struggles, long time struggles with food, weight, body image, perfectionism, all these things that, you know, we all can relate to in some way.

Christine Okezie (12m 57s):
Right. You could share a little bit about your insights and where it took you with that.

Melissa Mayer (13m 2s):
I guess the, you know, the uncovering of of being a highly sensitive person, which I think we’re all a lot more familiar with that these days and empath, you know, just those terms, which I think helpful, but can also be limiting. I do wanna throw in, but

Christine Okezie (13m 17s):
I agree.

Melissa Mayer (13m 18s):
Yeah. Like, I think a lot of things, we kind of discover something about ourselves. I’m like, great, now this explains everything and I can another

Christine Okezie (13m 24s):
Label. Yeah. Right.

Melissa Mayer (13m 26s):
Yeah. But initially it was very helpful for me to say, just notice my patterns of like, huh, I do easily get over stimulated and what do I reach for? I reach for food, I reach for alcohol, and why do I meditate and do yoga? Oh. Because I need to turn away and ground and come in to find my connection. Yeah. So I think, you know, that was, it was helpful initially to really identify that and realize, Huh, you know, the struggles I had with eating, with drinking were all coming from the same place. They were coming from. Just needing to just numb myself basically. You know, if I was, you know, at a young kid at a party and that there was food, it would be like, okay, this can stop me feeling all the energy of all these people in this room.

Melissa Mayer (14m 13s):
You know? And then as I got older being like, Oh, good, there’s a party alcohol, great, I can numb and I can stop feeling everything that I’m feeling there. And those became, you know, habits that thank goodness weren’t, you know, I would never leave. I didn’t leave myself as an alcoholic or thank goodness, you know, I was able to get, you know, you know, eating under control, even though I have to say it still is something I think I’ll probably deal with for the rest of my life. And just, these are just daily patterns and places I go to when in the morning I feel strong and grounded and I meditate and I feel really good. But as the day goes on and, you know, life wears at me and I, I start to fatigue, those are, those are my crutches that I start reaching for.

Melissa Mayer (14m 56s):
And it’s been really helpful in noticing it. Yes. And noticing mindfulness and just kind of being like, Oh, I’m trying to leave the present moment to feel better by reaching for these things. What, how can I come back? So I think they, it was really helpful learning that it was all stemming from the same place and I can work on it by getting to the source versus just fixing the remedies, you know? But Absolutely. And I, it was amazing after the transformation, after the transplant and the transformation I experienced was, you know, I stopped drinking and I, that I, that was never my plan or my intention. And even when I was doing, I was like, you know what? I don’t wanna, it’s gonna be one day at a time.

Melissa Mayer (15m 37s):
I’m not going to put another thing on myself that I have to do. But I, noticing how much clearer I felt my writing, I mean, just traveling energy, working with people, it just, I was like, Wow, I can really use the, you know, the tools of the universe to ground and do the work. And now that I don’t have alcohol, you know, intervening. It was, it was amazing. And I said this, this is good. I’m gonna stick with this, this, this is really working for me. Yeah.

Christine Okezie (16m 6s):
When, when you feel good, you wanna keep feeling good and yeah. But that awareness that, you know, cultivating all that awareness around your patterns, around, you know, your tendencies and, and your go-tos is so key. I mean, that’s really where the change work happens and takes root. So. That’s beautiful. Thank you. So you mentioned, now let’s dive into the heart of your book and, and your journey was the, the transplant. So how is that an awakening moment for you?

Melissa Mayer (16m 36s):
So, you know, I talk in the book about how obstacles can become opportunities and I had always viewed the transplant as this huge obstacle that we’re gonna have to get through somehow someday. And, and, you know, I can, I still even feel a little emotional talking about it. It, it was just, you know, it was this moment that was hard. But at the same time I felt so guided. I felt like, you know, through my meditation, through walking through yoga and I had done lots of energy clearing sessions and just felt like beautiful. I was grounded. And when I was in that quiet space and, and connecting within, I felt guided and, and got all these messages from the universe, like, you can do this.

Melissa Mayer (17m 17s):
You got this. Just one, put one foot in front of the other one day at a time and you can get through this. And it was challenging, you know, thinking about my husband being under under and me being under and my children and just felt like this big loss of control. Yes. And it was, and I think those loss of controls can be an opportunity because that’s when we surrender. Yeah. And I had this moment of spiritual surrender where I said, God, if that’s who you are, I’m not sure, you know, I had always been spiritual, but not religious. I wasn’t sure my relationship with God, but I said, you know, I I need a miracle here, please. And I felt like when I woke up from the anesthesia, I felt like I had this presence of saying, You got your miracle.

Melissa Mayer (18m 4s):
Wow. And, and it was just so extraordinary and it just made me feel like I don’t ever have to convince anybody to believe anything because I believed and I knew I experienced a miracle. And that’s all that mattered. You know, it’s like I don’t have to convince anybody there is a God or here’s, you know, and, and I was, I was an am student of a course in miracles and that was also Guid. Yes. And, and I’ve been, you know, a student of the course ever since because I felt like that’s really what held my hand got me comfortable with, with the term God and spirit. And also it gave me, it gave me all of that without the dog, without the dogma and the doctrine of, of religion.

Melissa Mayer (18m 46s):
So I felt very free in the work. And I do my daily lessons every day. And it’s, it’s just, it’s, it’s just been the thing of, of all the books I’ve read, of all the practices I’ve done, it’s, it’s just the, the practice that really guides me every single day and every moment.

Christine Okezie (19m 2s):
Oh, thank you. Very powerful surrender. You know, it’s, it’s when you finally realize that, you know, yes, you are creating a reality, but you can also lean in and trust something greater. And when you do that, miracles are possible. Miracles happen. I, I couldn’t agree more, but thank you for sharing that. So you mentioned of course the miracles. I did wanna get to that, you know, that’s been such a foundational part of your growth and how you navigate these days. What are some key lessons from a course of miracles and the other work maybe that you’ve done? You know, what are some key life lessons that really define how you show up in the world today?

Christine Okezie (19m 44s):
Cause you’ve still got a very full plate, you know? Yeah,

Melissa Mayer (19m 48s):
Yeah. Well it says in a course of miracles, a miracle’s a shift from fear to love. So, you know, all day long, you know, when I’m in the physical realm, you know, just thinking like, am I thinking with love? Am I thinking with fear? You know, am I going through my day being like, I gotta get all this done. Cause if I don’t get this done, then go tomorrow and tomorrow’s too full. You know, And then like, and then I, when I stop and go, Huh, that’s all fear, isn’t it? That’s all my ego that tells me you need to do this and you need to do that. And, and, and you know, my ego has this way of like taking credit for the victory, being like, See I’m good at doing all these things and look what I’ve accomplished, but it also has this way of shaming me too.

Melissa Mayer (20m 28s):
You know, it, it’s very seductive in like being like, See you didn’t do it and now you didn’t get it right and those people didn’t get it right. And you know, it just has this, just this malicious voice in your head and that I can, and that used to really kind of scare me and trigger me and be like, God, what’s wrong with me? But the course kind of taught me that we all have that. That’s just the ego mind. It’s the separate mind. And when we sh you know, a miracle is just shifting back to love and saying, I forgive myself for going down this rabbit hole of the ego because it’s seductive and it gets us all. But I wanna shift back into love. I wanna feel light, I wanna feel connected to God’s source, oneness and love.

Melissa Mayer (21m 8s):
Cuz that’s why I’m here. I’m here extend love, I’m here to be love. And how can I do that in this moment? I can take a deep breath, I can take a walk, I can think about somebody I love and think that, and once I give my day and my to-do list to God to love, it’s like it’s all gonna get done. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too.

Christine Okezie (21m 30s):
That’s a life changing, you know, way to move through life, Right? We’re such taskmaster, we’re there our hardest on ourselves, you know? Yeah. And gotta get it all done, you know, And always running time behind time, I don’t have enough time, you know, I found that to be, you know, regardless of whatever individuals challenges we might be facing, it’s the, it’s that fear driven, you know, never enough, don’t have enough, you know, mentality that really wears us down. Yeah. So what a great, you know, tool to remember just to switch, you know, where am I gonna put my attention?

Melissa Mayer (22m 4s):
Yeah. I’ve heard Wayne Dyer say you can either in any moment, you can either be a hostage to the ego or you can host God. And, and I love that thinking like, you know, you can give your to-do list to God and say, What things would you have me do today instead of, you know, I’ve heard like law of attraction and people working for on manifesting what they want, like writing their list and saying, Here’s the universe, here’s what I want. And instead of thinking, what would you have me do today? What would love have me do today? You know, I would love to have me serve today cause why don’t I do that? Maybe I do need to be here for an extra couple moments and, and listen to this person and not even say anything.

Melissa Mayer (22m 45s):
Or maybe I do need to be, you know, maybe I need to skip that so I can get to school, pick up one minute earlier so I have a deep breath before I go into that leg of my day. You know, it’s just like, I would love, have me serve in this moment and today rather than me saying here’s what I need to accomplish. You know, like putting kind of the, the love before what the ego, you know, has, has the ego’s goals that have planned for today.

Christine Okezie (23m 14s):
Thank you Melissa. That’s amazing. I love that. What are you most curious these days? You’re doing some interesting work as a holistic physical therapist and all the other modalities and insights to bring to your patient work. What are you most interested these days in your field?

Melissa Mayer (23m 28s):
I mean, I spend a lot of time going to the Long Island Buddhist Meditation Center. So, you know, my meditation practice and being at the center is, is a big part of my life and a part of my work because I’ve, I’ve noticed too, you know, I could have the fanciest modalities and took the best course and I have the best new, you know, technique to mobilize a shoulder that’s really gonna fix people. But sometimes I feel like of all the exercises I give people kind of opening their awareness into, and if meditation is too fancy of a word for them or too intimidating, you know, just the mindfulness, the breathing and just kind of, you know, finding that small still place within.

Melissa Mayer (24m 14s):
Yeah. And, and, and having them find that place to kind of connect with their own inner healing. Because, you know, a long time ago I just, I always, I would come home from hospitals and places feeling like so tired. I was so drained, I felt like I was giving all my energy to everybody. And then my ego was like, Look at you, you’re depleted cuz you’re giving so much away. And then realizing I’m not, you know, a healer more than anybody else is a healer because my work is to connect them to their healing, to their source. And, and I can do that through, you know, meditation opens that door and mindfulness opens that door and helping, bringing them awareness to their breath can open that door just as much as, you know, strengthening their trapezius or just as much as mobilizing their hip.

Melissa Mayer (25m 3s):
So, and of course those are, you know, important modalities and I’m, I’m happy to do, I do myfa release and acupuncture cupping and, you know, all those wonderful modalities that are, that are so valuable and important. But I sometimes I feel like they’re there to disarm the ego, almost the person think that they therapist and a holistic practitioner should do these things so I do them right, Right. Like this arm so they can open up and go, I know what I need to do, you know, I need to, I I need to breathe more, I need to stop more, I need to listen more. And, you know, that’s when I really feel like there’s a real miracle in the work that I’m doing with somebody.

Melissa Mayer (25m 45s):
So, so that’s, so it’s almost like, you know, the the kind of more experience and the more evolved I get, it’s almost like the simpler, you know, the stuff I I wanna do with people,

Christine Okezie (25m 58s):
I can totally relate to that. Yeah. And I think that’s wonderful and I think that is definitely something that is progress, you know, when it comes to the art and the science of healing, right? Yes. Is that we’re recognizing that it’s about connection. So important to have a good practitioner, you know, so important to have that trust and that, you know, openness that gets cultivated so that we can lean into ourselves so that we can start to slow down and create that, you know, level of awareness that, that’s so key. But thank you. Yeah. I think that’s beautiful and I’m right with you, you know, a genuinely holistic approach understands that we are o own best healers, you know, we are our own gurus, if you will.

Christine Okezie (26m 41s):
It’s not a phrase that, you know, has resonated with me. Yeah, yeah. And so,

Melissa Mayer (26m 47s):
And yeah. And honoring exactly what’s in us, like you said.

Christine Okezie (26m 51s):
Yeah. Yeah. That’s beautiful. Thank you. So what is the number one thing that you want readers to take away from your beautiful book?

Melissa Mayer (26m 59s):
So I remember a while ago I had, I had kind of crossed paths with somebody in publishing and she had, she had mentioned, and it was a little intimidating that she said, you know, the book needs to be more about the readers and not your story. And I thought, Hmm, okay, I, I hear this because this person had a lot of experience. She had books all over her walls and seemed like she was very successful in her work. And I was like, Wow, I should listen to her.

4 (27m 27s):
Yes.

Melissa Mayer (27m 27s):
But at the same time too, in inside I kind of disagreed because I thought, you know what, if I think if I tell my story in a real authentic and vulnerable way, then I can create the space for people to wanna tell their story and be honest and open and vulnerable. So I kind of, so I set the book up like that where when people can read it, because, you know, there’s lots of different, you know, parts of stepping outside my comfort zone when I moved to San Francisco and going to India and, you know, raising kids and stopping drinking and, you know, there’s just, there’s lots of different pieces and I thought that the reader will resonate on the different points that that feel right to them.

Melissa Mayer (28m 9s):
Like, maybe I do need to step outside my comfort zone more. Maybe I do need to meditate more. Maybe I do need to, maybe I’m doing everything right and I’m doing too much. Right. And I’m not, I’m missing the, the point of everything I’m doing, you know? So I thought that if I just tell my story, because I’ve noticed too, if you tell someone you know what you need to do.

4 (28m 30s):
Yeah. That doesn’t work. Especially with kids, don’t do that.

Melissa Mayer (28m 39s):
Here’s what you need. Well, and it’s, it really is true with parenting. I mean, modeling is, is everything. You know, when you, when you just model the, you know, the behavior you wanna see people start to do it. So I figured with my book, you know, tell your story, tell your story, and then people will wanna tell their story or it will open them up into a space and of connection and, and wouldn’t that just be great, you know,

4 (29m 5s):
Beautiful. Wouldn’t

Melissa Mayer (29m 6s):
That be enough to just kind of open everybody up a little more and just have a little more deeper conversations? And, you know, I’m like, every time I can see somebody now that read my book, we can have a deeper more, you know, they, they’ve read my story, now I can say, what part resonated with you and why do you think that was? And they’re like, well, because this is, you know, this is part of my story. You know, like we see our stories within other people’s stories and I know that from reading books through the years, I mean, I would read 10 ways to manifest your goals, but my favorite part would be when the author would say why they intended to write that, like what their journey was leading up to that. And I was like, Oh wow, that’s so interesting. You know, what led them to that?

Melissa Mayer (29m 46s):
What led them to that place? So I think that’s just connecting to your story, find, you know, finding what resonates and why does that part resonate? And then doing some, you know, deeper introspective work around that.

Christine Okezie (29m 58s):
Wonderful. Yeah. You know, it, it is a beautiful journey and it, it, it just flows. And what my feeling was, I felt like I was right alongside of you through all the different parts of your journey, but what was most beautiful was that how every how you were able to see just the intelligence of all the dots being connected. Right. And that was very heartwarming because I think sometimes we go, I have no idea. Like, who am I to write a book? What was so great about my story? You know, you know, what’s, what’s the big, there’s no I think solve, I didn’t cure cancer, you know, so kind thing. Right.

Christine Okezie (30m 38s):
You know, but so you do a really beautiful job of just owning that you, we all have, you know, a right to, to own our story, to find the meaning and purpose in it, to look back and reflect and you know, and, and that type of vulnerability, that type of permission, you know, that you give the reader to own their path and, and seek, you know, like, you know what the meaning is, is really beautiful. It’s very empowering. It’s done very gently. It’s done very artfully. I’m sure, you know, as I was preparing for this podcast, Melissa, I was like, where am I gonna go with this?

Christine Okezie (31m 18s):
There’s international travel, there’s the whole parenting evolution, you know, there’s of course the the beautiful partnership that you have with your husband, which is just extraordinary in itself, you know, and that experience, which is just to say that, you know, when we take a step back from our lives, you know, everything is always unfolding for our highest good. We might not even know what it is at the time. Right.

Melissa Mayer (31m 44s):
Totally.

Christine Okezie (31m 44s):
What a beautiful reflection to look back and say, Wow, that was just, I couldn’t have done a better, I couldn’t have gone to better life school to to to know what I know now. Right. So

Melissa Mayer (31m 56s):
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much for, for all that. And you know, I have a blog on my website@melissamayer.org and you know, it was a fun place to kind of write stuff in between, cuz I’m working on my second book, but I was like, you know, just a home for thoughts. But lately and recently I transformed it to be like, you know what? I wanna start putting other people’s stories here on this blog. So I call it, you know, my healing community. Yeah. Because there’s just, I mean, and I’m sure you know, in your work, obviously every single podcast you do, but just even in the conversations we have when someone was like, Yeah, you know, they just had this moment the other day and I’m like, that’s an amazing moment.

Melissa Mayer (32m 40s):
We can, like, let’s write a story about that and let’s just have more of those stories like in our inboxes, you know? Yep. And, and I started just, I was like, everybody just has a great story and maybe it’s not even like birth to death or just like where I am today and how right than I was yesterday. And you know, all cause we’re all works in progress and you know, there was a podcast called, you know, between the before and after and I always loved that because like, we think oh before and after, but it’s like, no, we’re here in this present moment and and telling that story of, of of how we feeling healed today or, or maybe how we aspire to feel healed, you know?

Melissa Mayer (33m 20s):
Yeah. And so that’s been kind of what I’ve been enjoying working on lately because it’s just everybody has so much healing to share and it all, it has to just really be, is honest and vulnerable. And that’s usually what it does. I mean, once, I mean we’re all going around, you know, posting our stuff and you know, trying to be seen, but like, are we really trying to be seen or you know, are we allowing ourselves to be vulnerable? And, and because that penetrates, I mean everybody can tell when that’s authentic cause you can just feel it cause you connection to yourself.

Christine Okezie (33m 51s):
Yeah, absolutely. Maya Angelou’s quote. Right. You know, they don’t remember what you did, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.

Melissa Mayer (33m 58s):
Right. Yes.

Christine Okezie (34m 0s):
I totally get that. So you mentioned your healing community on the website. Is there anything else, you know, when people wanna just, you know, learn more about you and your journey, you know, be part of your process as well. Let us know what the best way is.

Melissa Mayer (34m 13s):
Yeah. My website, MelissaMayor.org, if people wanna submit healing stories, I would love, I’d love to hear from anybody that, that wants to share a story. Our premier story is on there so you can see a little bit what it’s all about. There’s links to my Facebook page and my Instagram where to get the book where book events are working on my second book. Excellent. So here’s that one takes cause the first one took three, but that’s, they, they take what they take and Yes. Yeah. And even been adapting the book into a screenplay, which has been another just creative journey to see where

Christine Okezie (34m 53s):
That, how much creativity. Right.

Melissa Mayer (34m 55s):
Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s just fun and, and things that I do in between caring for the children and working with patients and yeah. And if people can reach out to me through, through the website if they wanna do distant healing or in person healing. So

Christine Okezie (35m 12s):
Beautiful. Ah, that’s so great. Thank you Melissa. This has been amazing. This is so excited for you and, and all the work that you’re doing right now. It’s just, it’s really lovely. So congratulations on all your success and, and your beautiful journey.

Melissa Mayer (35m 26s):
Thank you Christine. This was wonderful conversation and thank you for the work you do and your podcast is really, really,

Christine Okezie (35m 35s):
Thank you.