Ep#122 Getting Unstuck With Family Constellations Therapy – Liza Miron, Life Coach

0 (1s):
Welcome to the Soul Science Nutrition Podcast, where you’ll discover that when it comes to your health, you are so much more powerful than you’ve been led to believe. And now your host, she’s a Holistic Nutrition and Lifestyle coach, Chef, Author, and Yogi, Christine Okezie.

Christine M. Okezie (23s):
Hello, and welcome to the Soul Science Nutrition Podcast. I’m Christine Okezie. thanks so much for being here today. This week’s podcast guest shares her passion and expertise for a healing approach that can really help when there’s a situation in your life that you just haven’t been able to heal or shift. Liza Miron is a life coach and she shares the powerful healing work of Family Constellations, a type of therapy based on the idea that trauma passed down through generations are at the root of stressors in our lives that we’re experiencing in the here and now. Liza explains how becoming aware of the importance of our family system.

Christine M. Okezie (1m 3s):
We can break out of the dysfunctional patterns that cause suffering. Lisa is trained in NLP Neurolinguistic Programming, EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, or tapping meditation, channeling Reiki, Sentara System Energy Healing, and is a master in Family and Systemic Constellations. She’s already facilitated over 1000 constellations in her practice. Her passion is to see people grow, develop, and connect to a higher level of awareness so that they can lead more healthy, joyful abundant lives. Bottom line is that if you struggle to find the root of persistent mental, physical, and emotional health challenges, Family Constellation Therapy just might be the perfect solution for you.

Christine M. Okezie (1m 49s):
This is a really fascinating conversation filled with so much good guidance and information, but to learn more about Liza and her services, please check out her website, www.coachingandconstellations.com. And if you’re interested in learning more about Family Cconstellations, Liza has some amazing videos on her YouTube channel, or you could listen to them on her weekly podcast, Family Constellations and Ancestral Healing with Liza Miron. So I’m so glad you’re here today. And again, you know, please drop me a note. If you have some time visit Apple Podcast, drop me a rating and review. And of course, if you haven’t subscribed, please do so. It helps me keep the podcast growing. Thanks so much for listening everyone and enjoy the episode.

Christine M. Okezie (2m 30s):
Welcome Lisa to the podcast. Thanks so much for being here.

Liza Miron (2m 34s):
Thank you so much for inviting me. I’m excited to be here.

Christine M. Okezie (2m 37s):
Excellent. So, Lisa, when did you first get interested in transformational work?

Liza Miron (2m 43s):
Oh wow. I think I was, I was born in a way interested in this kind of work. I don’t know if many people that are in this work. I, I have that like a seed. This is the moment we’re born and it just starts to grow little by little, according to the path that we’re taking and what is, you know, and we kind of feel drawn to where that seed is able to, to grow better. So I think that I’ve had that inside of me all, all along. I’ve always been for, you know, looking for ways to develop, to transform, to improve to. And since I was little, you know, I was born in a very Catholic family and then the way I knew was through religion and that at some point didn’t start, you know, it didn’t make sense a hundred percent.

Liza Miron (3m 32s):
And then I thought, oh, well, you know, I’m gonna start studying all the religions because they all have a truth. Yes. And they all have parcel to not adapt to everyone. So maybe I can find that truth that all religion speaks about. And I started getting interested in Buddhism and then, you know, so I, I was always looking for ways without knowing that this was what I was looking for. So I would say that since I was born

Christine M. Okezie (4m 1s):
Excellent from the beginning, I love that. Yeah. And, and opening up a path and getting on that path to, you know, more and more of what, you know, you were meant to do. So I love that it’s definitely a process and a journey, but it sounds like you were attuned in at, at a very, very early time, you know, so that’s great. And you know, we always say it’s nice to change, wee certainly, we can have obstacle and tragedy. A lot of folks I have on the podcast, you know, go through adversity as a gateway to transformation, but it doesn’t always have to be like that. And that’s really important to talk about too. Right. Sometimes it’s just recognizing that, you know, we can transform through awe, wonder curiosity, you know, things like that. So thank you.

Christine M. Okezie (4m 41s):
Yeah. Thank You.

Liza Miron (4m 42s):
You know, just to add a little bit about that, I know that that’s how, you know, like the way a lot of people transform and completely shift their lives. They have like a very hard, difficult event in their lives. And they say that they’re so grateful for that because that completely shifted their view. And they’re now so much connected to lives to, you know, to this calmness, to this piece, to this happiness, after understanding life through that event. And I’m constantly looking for ways to, to get to those places. And I’m always reading books, you know, doing new. Like I said, you know, I was bored with this.

Christine M. Okezie (5m 17s):
I can relate

Liza Miron (5m 18s):
The one thing, you know, but I’m always like, and I wanna get there. And since we know in a way that there’s no, no time, so whatever we want right now, it expands to all directions. I’m always in my daily prayers, I include this prayer that whatever happens to, to me and to the ones around me, you know, is for my greatest wellbeing, but in a way that it can come into coherence in a well-paced way, oh, I want that development. But if I can avoid having that big tragedy in my life, that’s gonna bring that. Then I’m happy avoiding it. You know, I want the result without the tragedy. And you know, I’m expanding this all the time time, like to all directions.

Liza Miron (5m 59s):
And I think that that is expanding to the beginning of my life because it’s, it’s not to say that I haven’t had problems or difficulties, especially the teenage years were quite challenging, but I haven’t had that huge, big tragedy that transformed me on who I am right now. And I think that part of is this connection that I wanna get there, but I’m always having this intention that I want this path to be gentle, to be grateful, to be easy, because if we can choose, if we can have an intention, if we can have a prayer, I mean, why not?

Christine M. Okezie (6m 31s):
I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Absolutely. And we can be just as intentional around that. And that is very, very empowering. So thank you. I agree. Ease and flow. You know, it would be my preference. Yes.

Liza Miron (6m 42s):
Thank

Christine M. Okezie (6m 42s):
You. Thank you. So let’s jump in. What are Family Constellations?

Liza Miron (6m 49s):
Family Constellations is a tool that helps us clear the issues that we unconsciously have in our life that do not belong to us that belong to somebody else in the family system. So from the moment of our life, we start connecting to the issues of the family system that have not been healed completely. The traumas, the blocked emotions, the excluded members. And we want to help the system heal from this gratefulness. We are so grateful for the life that we have that we wanna give back. So our ancestors gave us our lives. So it’s like out of this gratefulness, I’m gonna help you heal this trauma. I’m gonna help you heal this, this illness.

Liza Miron (7m 29s):
I’m gonna help you heal this emotion that you have stuck, but we can’t cuz it’s not ours. You know, it’s not our responsibility, but we still do this. And the other reason why we do this, that we take also, the patterns is because we want to belong. If we don’t belong in the system, we could be excluded. And you know, a baby that’s excluded is left, you know, in the wild is not gonna survive. Yeah. So we are gonna take on the values that believes that whatever the family has, whatever our parents or grandparents, and it’s a little bit like, you know, I’m gonna put on the blue shirt and if the blue shirt means that I’m gonna have problems with money, because that’s what my ancestors have done in the past, you know, bring it on. You know, I’m one of them I’m gonna belong.

Liza Miron (8m 11s):
I wanna survive. I’m gonna be one of them. This is what we do. So we unconsciously make this decision of loyalty, of love, of gratefulness, to our ancestors, to do things like them, to do things for them, to do things, to belong in this family system and survive. So we unconsciously have all these decisions. Yeah. That limit us that keep us stuck. So with the tool of family, constellation is like, we’re opening up this unconscious dimension to start to find out those unconscious bonds, energy, bonds, connections, and tan that we have in the family system to be able to say, you know, grandmother, I’m carrying your grief, but this is not mine.

Liza Miron (8m 52s):
And I honor, and I respect you and I love you. And thank you for being my grandmother. And I now choose to release this grief that is not mine. And I release it with love so that I get transformed into the, a blessing and an energy wherever it goes. Yeah. So we’re not rejecting our ancestors. We’re not rejecting the situation. We’re accepting, we’re accepting them, but we’re letting go of the part that is not ours. So then in this example, I’m not stuck being depressed in life for situations that I don’t even know what they were and I’m depressed and not being able to move forward for a grief, maybe that it was not mine to begin with. Yeah. And then this brings a deep shift in healing and this is what we’re doing with the Family Constellations.

Christine M. Okezie (9m 36s):
It’s huge. It goes really, really deep. And I like that way you explain that, you know, for some of us who let’s say have tried a lot of different forms of therapy and lots of different tools and not discounting any progress that’s made with all of that family constellations takes it to a whole nother plane. And you, you shared a lot about, you know, our ancestors and the role that they play and the, and our interaction, again, you know, from an unconscious place, if maybe we could just provide a little bit more background and in your own words, describe if you will ancestral trauma, what is it? So people would say maybe you were somewhat new to this concept of, of inheritance of certain trauma or loss or blocked emotions.

Liza Miron (10m 22s):
Yeah. So ancestral trauma is what we call any trauma that our ancestor experienced, that they were not able to deal with, that they were not able to digest that they were not able to move through it and just kept it blocked. So going back a little bit to the example that I said, let’s say that my grandmother lost a child and losing a child, especially a young child is one of the biggest traumas that one can have losing. Also one of our parents when we’re young is one of the biggest traumas that we can have. And it’s so much that it’s like, it’s like, I cannot feel this it’s just too much. I cannot even breathe. So I would rather not feel it. So I’m gonna distract my, like, you know, myself with other things in life.

Liza Miron (11m 4s):
So I don’t feel this pain that’s so in too intense that I just cannot digest. Yes. So, so any trauma that our ancestors were not able to deal with because it was so hard, it gets like blocked in the system, in the energy, like in, even in the genes. And if you think about it happens with everyone, but even more, for example, with our parents, grandparents and our grandmother, if she experienced this, she, you know, it’s in herself, it’s in the ovaries that become, then one of those ovaries has the egg that becomes my mother and then becomes, becomes me.

Liza Miron (11m 46s):
And when my mom is born, you know, she has all the eggs there. So I experience every single thing that she experienced. It’s in the, in the cellular memory yes. Of the egg. That became mean. So from the moment of cons, you know, that my mom started developing and she, she had those eggs inside of her, that egg that became me has, has all of that, you know, registered in the cellular memory, all her traumas, but it doesn’t only happen this way. It also happens energetically. Okay. So we take on all of these traumas from our ancestors, the ones that they were not able to digest, that they were ones that were not able to deal with. And we live in a time so different than our ancestors.

Liza Miron (12m 27s):
And I know a lot of people say, you know, how horrible, you know, the climate change, the wars things that are going on. Yes, that’s, that’s very hard and we have an amazing development, amazing gift, amazing connection, amazing awakening. I mean, just look at us being in such different parts of the world, connecting and doing all this healing, this, talking this sharing. It wasn’t like that before. And our parents, our grandparents great-grandparents did not have the tools that we have today. If they had a difficult, a trauma that was going on, they couldn’t, you know, Google I’m depressed.

Liza Miron (13m 8s):
What can I do about it? You know, we do that. I mean, how many articles, videos, courses, books you’re gonna get about that? I mean, millions. Yes. Yes. They didn’t have that. If they had a problem. Well, tough. Right. You know, even therapy. It was for the crazy, when it started, it was a big taboo, if you would go to therapy, right. They really had zero tools to deal with trauma. Yeah. So they did the best they could. They just repeated what they would see or they just blocked things or just became angry or became, you know, you know, be, become hurting others because of the hurt that they had inside that they couldn’t deal with.

Liza Miron (13m 47s):
So we need to remember that there is a lot of trauma of our ancestors from their experiences. Life was very different for them than how it is for us. And especially the tools that they had to deal with their D difficulties are very different from the tools that we have today. Absolutely. So that is ancestral trauma, the traumas that they experienced, that they were not able to deal with, that they blocked. And those, like I said, are usually traumas, big traumas tend to be like when, when somebody dies in a tragic day tragic way, or when somebody dies, when we’re very young, like for example, our mother, our father, when we are young kids, that that’s gonna be a very difficult trauma situations of, of loss.

Liza Miron (14m 31s):
You know, if we suddenly lose our household, our money because of, you know, whatever reason that can also be a trauma. So any situation that was really hard, that our ancestors were not able to deal with. It’s usually ancestral trauma that we could be caring as well.

Christine M. Okezie (14m 46s):
Thank you. And how can we understand when we heal it within our own lines, we actually affect the healing and resolution going back, help us understand that, to give us greater depth into this topic.

Liza Miron (15m 2s):
So we do this work for us. And as we start healing, it heals the family system. It heals this, that our ancestors are, are caring, but we don’t do this to heal our ancestors, to heal our family system. It starts from us. That is the place where we start working with and expand and expand to the past. So it’s a little bit, and I’ll go back to the same example so that we keep on with the same example, if it great. Yes. Let’s say that I’m carrying this, this grief for my grandmother. So energetically it’s like, pretend that I’m holding onto this sadness to this grief and it feels it’s energetic, but it feels that I’m holding onto this ball that doesn’t belong to me and I’m grasping it so hard, completely unconsciously.

Liza Miron (15m 48s):
And then, but this is my grandmother. So her energy, even if she’s alive or she already passed away is like, this is a part of her. This belongs to her. So her energy, it’s always a little bit with me cuz I’m carrying this from her.

Christine M. Okezie (16m 4s):
I see.

Liza Miron (16m 6s):
So wherever she is, her energy, part of it is stuck with me.

Christine M. Okezie (16m 10s):
Okay.

Liza Miron (16m 11s):
Thank you. And whatever process she’s doing to be able to, you know, continue in her life, continue in her afterlife. There’s a part that’s still here. That’s gonna block her to continue completely because I’m holding onto this. So the moment that I release it, then it opens up for her to also release it, to heal it. Okay. And if I’m releasing and healing, it, it opens up that path for her as well to release and heal it. Okay. Because I’m already, you know, opening this process. So it’s like, oh, this is possible. So I’m doing it as well. Of course, this is the way we think about it mentally, but this is all energetically.

Liza Miron (16m 51s):
And as we heal it, our ancestors heal it as well, release it as well. The family system, the energy, the family system releases as well. But if I’m holding onto it, it’s gonna keep on being stuck until I’m able to let go.

Christine M. Okezie (17m 7s):
Beautiful. I get it. Thank you. And maybe we could help, you know, get some insight into when you say we’re holding on unconsciously. When we, we we’re carrying these things that don’t belong to us. Right. What are some signs or indications that might indicate? That’s an avenue we need to look at? How do I know when something is not mine?

Liza Miron (17m 33s):
Okay. So the indication is to look at our lives and to see how our lives are and see the places where we’re stuck, the places where we feel that we’re always going, you know, back to the same rock, back to the same wall. Yes. The places where we’ve tried already to do several things about it. And it’s like always back to the same, the patterns that keep on repeating in our lives or that we’re repeating from our ancestors. And it could be in any area of our lives. It could be with health, it could be with abundance. It could be with relationships. It could be with our work in any of the areas of our life. But wherever we feel stuck, like, oh my God, this again. Or, oh, you know, still, still angry about this, that happened like 20 years ago.

Liza Miron (18m 15s):
And it happened with, you know, with this person and this other person and this other person, and then still like the same story repeats itself. Yeah. So those are the, the moments that we can say, oh, well maybe this is here and it’s not mine. And this is why I’m still with it in my life. Okay. Sometimes we even have strong emotions that we feel that they don’t belong to us. Because for example, going back to the same example, I may be depressed and I have a great life. I’m, you know, have a, a beautiful house. I have a work that I love. I have people that love me in my life and I’m completely depressed. And I’ve just this grieve and this sadness, and it happens so much with all the emotions. Sometimes we’re depressed.

Liza Miron (18m 54s):
Sometimes we’re sad. Sometimes we’re angry, sometimes we’re anxious, but there’s nothing to be anxious about. Yeah. And then it’s like, we’re living a feeling that belongs to somebody else. Wow. It can be two things. Just, I wanted to say that it can be a feeling that we have, you know, not allow ourselves to feel it in the past. So it can be part of it. Ours, you know, grief from our life that we have avoided that is coming later on in our life or grief or any emotion from our ancestors that we’re carrying. So when we’re feeling something or living something that, you know, we have this sensation, like this has makes no sense.

Liza Miron (19m 34s):
You know, I’m completely afraid that something’s gonna happen to me. And I don’t wanna go out of my house and I’m living in one of the safest neighborhood, you know, in the world, you know? So why am I feeling this? Why do I feel that my life is in danger when I’m in the safest places in the world? Yeah. So any of those thoughts that we feel like this just doesn’t make sense, right. That’s another indication. So one is when we feel stuck, another one when we’re repeating patterns and another one, when we have the sensation that we’re leaving, something that, you know, an emotion that doesn’t make sense.

Christine M. Okezie (20m 7s):
Right. Right. Excellent. Thank you. Okay. So if you could explain maybe the structure and the process of Family Constellations, individual group work, how, how does that work?

Liza Miron (20m 21s):
Okay. So I’m gonna start with the group session. And then from the group session, I’m gonna explain how I do the individual sessions. So, and I wanna explain it this way because it, it, it started as a group session. Okay. And a group in the sense that there’s a group of people, but it’s not that everybody’s working on the same things. What we usually do when we’re doing a group session is that there’s a lot of people that don’t know each other. Okay. And one of the, the ones that are there, you know, one’s gonna be the client, the one that’s gonna do their constellation. They’re gonna work on their topic of their life, their pattern, their emotion, whatever issue, they’re they, they want to bring some healing to. So from the people that are there in the group, we’re gonna ask somebody to represent the client, somebody to maybe represent the issue, the emotion, maybe their mother, their father, their grandfather, somebody else that we don’t know, whoever needs to be represented.

Liza Miron (21m 17s):
So the people that are in the group are gonna stand up and they’re gonna be connecting to their emotions, to their feelings, to their body, without thinking a little bit like in the meditation that you don’t bring your thoughts, but you just feel like with your intuition, what’s coming up. And then according to what they are feeling, how they are reacting with each other, gives us information of entanglements of the energetic bonds that the client is caring for the family system. Okay. And then I ask the client to say some phrases. And then we see after saying these phrases, how that affects the representations, you know, the, the others that are representing to see if there’s a shift to see if there’s a change and from how people are representing, gives us a lot of information.

Liza Miron (22m 2s):
For example, if I wanna do a constellation about me and my partner, because we’re not getting along. So then I’m gonna choose somebody to represent me and somebody to represent my partner and give us a lot of information. If both representatives are looking at each other, if they’re not looking at each other, if they’re looking at the floor, if they want to run away from each other, if one is running, you know, after the other one and the other one’s running, you know, I said, running, you know, we don’t run, we do this very slowly in very slow motions, but however, you know, they intuitively connect to the information of the field. And this goes back to what you mentioned, the morphic fields, and they just feel what’s going on. And however, you know, they represent that gives us information on the client and in the family system, I also ask the client, you know, according to what I see the representations is, you know, happen with their mother you’re with your father.

Liza Miron (22m 58s):
Do you know of any trauma in the past that has to do with this situation? And that can be helpful. It’s not necessary. Somebody that’s adopted can do this work without knowing anybody of their family system. Okay. And the reason for that is that if we have entanglements in the unconscious part of ourselves, the information is there. Yeah. We don’t need to know it in order to heal it. So we say this phrases until we see that there’s a change, there’s a release, there’s a connection with life. There’s like a, a feeling of something being lifted, something changing and, and being different from the beginning. And then we know that the, that entanglement has been healed.

Liza Miron (23m 37s):
Okay. So that’s how we do the, the group session.

Christine M. Okezie (23m 41s):
Okay. Thank you. So you mentioned statements, so you, as the therapist are guiding the client, the person who’s there to resolve an issue or get their constellation, right. What types of statements are you talking about? Are they, are they questions? Are they trying to get more information on a situation? What type of statements, for example?

Liza Miron (24m 6s):
So they’re very connected to all the healing that we’re doing here. So the healing that we’re doing in the family, constellations is healing connected with acceptance. So we are accepting everybody in the family system. We’re giving them their place. We’re honoring and respecting them. We’re letting go, what is not ours that we’re carrying from them.

Christine M. Okezie (24m 23s):
I see.

Liza Miron (24m 24s):
And this accepting means that we know that everybody did the best that they could with their knowledge awareness situation. It doesn’t mean that we agree with them. And if they have hurt somebody and especially ourselves, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay. And that we agree that it was okay for them to hurt us or somebody else. So acceptance does not mean that we agree it so that we know that they did the best with their resources, their, their tools, their awareness level, their, their moment in life. Okay. So the phrase is that I would tell the clients are very connected to this, for example, acknowledging, you know, you’re my grandfather, you’re part of the family system, I honor, and I respect you.

Liza Miron (25m 6s):
I see how you suffered. And, but the suffering is over. You can now rest in peace. I let go of the part that I’ve been carrying for you. Thank you for being my grandfather and kind of like, these are the phrases that we say that’s beautiful. It would, I mean, they vary a lot, according to every single situation, the topic, the person, but always connected to this acceptance and love of, of everyone.

Christine M. Okezie (25m 31s):
Thank you. Okay. Yes. So evolving and now into an individual session.

Liza Miron (25m 39s):
Yeah. So the way I do the individual sessions is like, pretending that there’s a group with me. So I put pieces of paper on the floor and I represent every single position. So it’s like a group session, but in slow motion, because I’m doing all the, all the positions. And then I explain to the client what’s going on. I also say the phrases for them to, to say, so it’s very similar, but it’s in one on one and I’m doing all the positions. Okay. This is the way I do it. There’s a big priority of ways that other people do it. Sometimes they, they use, you know, like screens when they’re doing it online to do the representations on the screen.

Liza Miron (26m 21s):
Some people use like, like small objects, like pieces of wood or pieces of crystal to do the representations. Some people even use like Legos or, or play mobiles or, or toys to do the representations. So every, you know, there’s a lot of different ways, the way I do it, it’s like that putting pieces on the paper, paper on the floor. But everybody, you know, there’s a lot of different ways of doing this.

Christine M. Okezie (26m 46s):
Thank you. And is this, does a person go for a series or is one enough?

Liza Miron (26m 52s):
So it’s, this is not like therapy. This is not something that we do like every single week. Okay. Because let’s say that I’m carrying, like I said, not depression and depressed, and I wanna see why am I depressed and my left. So we’re gonna start looking at the issues that I’m carrying from the family system, those entanglements, those connections with the ancestors that I’m, that are keeping me in that situation in my life. So usually with one constellation is gonna be enough. Okay. It also takes time for things to shift in my life. You know, this is not from one day to another. Yes. It usually takes one or two months, but it keeps on, you know, shifting and changing up to three, four, even six months.

Liza Miron (27m 35s):
Okay. So sometimes some families, some situations are very, very complex and they might need more than one constellation for, for the same topic. But tell my clients to wait around three months, to see how their life changes around those, the topic that they’re working on to see, they really need another constellation about that topic. So let’s say that I have a depression and I have a specific symptom on, you know, in my body that my arm has been hurting for many years and, you know, nothing ever completely solves the problem. And I have that relationship with my father so I can do a consolation for all those things.

Liza Miron (28m 17s):
Okay. But I tell my clients is to wait at least one month between session and session. Okay. Just to give some time to integrate the work that they do in one session before starting another session. Yes. But because those are different, like topics that we’re working on, we don’t need to wait that longer. We can do like a constellation every month. If we do a lot of work, a lot of constellation work, then, then after some time we can start, start work, you know, waiting less. We don’t have to wait the whole month. Yeah. But especially at the beginning, you know, the, the hardest, like the deepest things come up. So we, we need to, to take more time to, to integrate the, the healing before starting to shake everything up again.

Christine M. Okezie (28m 57s):
Thank you. So, Lisa, I know that one of the wonderful things about the, your services is that you practice other complimentary modalities and you kind of have a beautiful way to help people integrate a lot of this work because it is deep work. So can you give us an example maybe of some other modalities that you use to help people on in the process so that they can embody and integrate, you know, what comes out these sessions?

Liza Miron (29m 26s):
Yeah. So one of the things that I do is that I’m a, I’m a life coach and I also do family constellations. So there’s a lot of techniques of life coaching that are very helpful in the integration process. So that’s, that’s something very powerful. Yeah. And another of my favorite tool tools is tapping the, the tapping helps so much with the part of the emotions.

Christine M. Okezie (29m 50s):
Yeah.

Liza Miron (29m 51s):
If I’m carrying this, you know, depression, sadness from my grandmother, since the moment I’m born, I was born and I, you know, I’m 45 right now. So that means that I’ve been carrying this for 45 years. So I do a constellation and I start releasing this, but my body, it has a pattern is used to reacting the same way when some triggers come in my life. Yes. So I also, it’s helpful to like reprogram the body to start, you know, reacting differently when those triggers come up. Yes. And tapping for me, I think that everybody has different kind of, you know, tools that, that, that they like to work with.

Liza Miron (30m 31s):
Sure. But for me, tapping is one of the best tools to work on like releasing and like reprogramming those emotions, those parts that are blocked in us to be able to start again in, in a different way. Perfect.

Christine M. Okezie (30m 44s):
Perfect. Thank you so much. And what is necessary for a person to have the healing available from family constellation? What is, what are the key facets of that person’s state or being situation for them to really, you know, have this be an effective therapeutic tool?

Liza Miron (31m 3s):
I think that if you’re drawn to it, there’s something that’s gonna be helpful.

Christine M. Okezie (31m 8s):
Okay.

Liza Miron (31m 10s):
And I wouldn’t say that it’s like necessary other ways. It doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t work, but it is helpful to have this opening of acceptance. Yeah. Of us, of the situations of others. Most of the issues that we have in our life are often related to that part of us that wants reality to be different than what it is. And, you know, we kept keep on fighting with reality. So for example, maybe I have a different, you know, a very difficult relationship with my mom and she’s always criticizing me. And she’s always doing all this situations where, you know, I’m, I’m so upset and I feel that she doesn’t see me yet that you know, that I’m not valued, that she doesn’t love me for whatever reason.

Liza Miron (31m 51s):
And often part of the problem there is because, you know, I want her to be different. I want her to stop criticizing me. I want her to, you know, say, I love you, but maybe nobody said that to her when she was a child. So she’s not able to do that. Yeah. And maybe her way of showing love is criticizing me because in her own way, she’s telling me do this a different way, because I think that’s gonna be better for you. You’re gonna be happier. And she doesn’t know how to express love in a different way, because that’s how she learned because of her experiences as a child.

Christine M. Okezie (32m 27s):
Yes. Yes. Thank

Liza Miron (32m 29s):
You. And I cannot change her. I mean, I can, I mean, how hard it is to change ourselves, you know, how many of us want to eat better, do more exercise, be more patient, be more loving. And I mean, it is hard, right. So how can we expect for other person to be different of how they are, especially when they don’t even wanna change. They don’t even see that there’s a problem. Yeah. So we keep on waiting for having to, you know, to have these experiences with people in life. That’s gonna be suddenly different, you know? Yeah. It’s only want my mom to stop, criticizing me to say, I love you to be patient, to be whatever. And that’s not who she’s. And this is where the acceptance comes. I need to see her and every single other person in my life exactly the way they are and accept them like that.

Liza Miron (33m 16s):
Stop fighting with who they are. And this does not mean that, that, you know, they’re hurting me, that I’m okay with it. I’m not gonna do anything about it. I, it’s important to always, for me to protect myself, to take care of myself, But without trying to change others the way they are, you know, if somebody’s hurting me for whatever reason and they cannot stop hurting me, then it’s okay to have some distance with that person. Yeah. But if I constantly wait for them to change, then I’m constantly going back to position where they’re hurting me again.

Christine M. Okezie (33m 47s):
Yes. So this is really very significant because it’s a huge paradigm shift for people to understand that acceptance doesn’t mean resignation acceptance means meeting yourself where you are, you know, in the reality of your situation, which like you said, can be, you know, untenable. Right. But we get to that point where like, it’s not okay anymore, but I’m going to take responsibility, you know, for that, which is in when my control. And as you said, you know, these tools, family constellations is an opportunity to go within ourselves and find the healing to change the internal landscape, the inner circumstances of our lives so that we can have a better outer experience of our lives.

Christine M. Okezie (34m 30s):
Right. Rather than waiting for, you know, people and places and objects to be different. It’s, it’s deep wisdom, but it’s also extremely practical when it comes to this work. Right. It’s not just philosophy. It’s really how the process it’s what’s required essentially. Right. So, yeah. Yeah. It’s beautiful. Thank you.

Liza Miron (34m 49s):
You did, you know, you put it in such a beautiful way and, and that, you know, that’s exactly what it is. And then going back to your question, what is needed this acceptance, because if I come to this work and actually any kind of work, hoping that I’m gonna get tools to make others start reacting differently, start changing others. I mean, I’m gonna keep on being stuck. Yes. That’s so that opening it’s important.

Christine M. Okezie (35m 13s):
The opening. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. I always like to ask, you know, what do you see as the relationship between health spirituality or consciousness, if you will, just in your own journey.

Liza Miron (35m 27s):
So, you know, a friend of mine, but we did the training of cancelations together. We spoke several years after and she said, so she’s not a trainer. And she said, how’s that, you know, how’s that going? I said, wonderful. You know, I think my life is wonderful. I’m so happy and grateful. And she said, do you think it’s because of the family constellations? And I said, no, I think that it’s because of family constellations and every single other therapy, every single book, every single experience that, that, that I’ve had. Yeah. Including, and, and this is something, you know, personal, you know, I believe in past lives.

Liza Miron (36m 8s):
So Family Constellations is really not the best tool to, to work with past lives, but there are other tools to work in past lives. So that information, that work, that process is also important. Right. And I also think that there is something that we’re here to learn in this life, in this moment, whatever that is. And, and sometimes we, we know what it is. Sometimes we don’t know what it is, but we are gonna maybe suffer in some way to experience that understanding of life that is useful. And that’s what we’re meant to learn in this life. So, you know, we have all these things, we are who we are from all these different places.

Liza Miron (36m 50s):
So we’re healing. The, the, the ancestral part of who made this body of the people that made this body. And then we have those entanglements that we’re helping heal, that we are healing through our life. Then we have the past life’s experience that, or the karma. That’s also part of the process of who we are right now. Okay. Then we have like the, like the purpose of what we’re learning here. And then that brings another mix. So all this like energies come together and create who we are right now, what we’re experiencing in life, what is our path? What, what is our, you know, what we’re doing, where we’re going. And those are the things that, you know, that we kind of have an idea of what is creating the life, the energy of flow that we are right now, but maybe like these that I mentioned there another hundred that we’re not even aware of.

Liza Miron (37m 44s):
So, you know, in my way of understanding this, you, we have this life it’s not good to get lost, trying to understand everything cuz we won’t. Yes. So let’s just trying to do the best that we can. And with the tools that we find that, that are useful, like I said, I like tapping, but maybe, you know, for others they like sound healing more or they like a different kind of therapist. Yeah. So let’s all accept this path that we’re in try to, to be better, you know, more kind more connected to love human beings, through whatever tools we feel that are useful to us in our voyage in this life, in this, you know, you know, dress that I have as Liza Miron that’s right.

Liza Miron (38m 30s):
That’s what I think. Yes.

Christine M. Okezie (38m 32s):
Thank you. I appreciate that I’m right with you. It’s, it’s a journey. It’s an evolution. And like you said, it’s not so much. And I like the energy you’re bringing to this conversation around healing modalities, cuz it’s not about fixing, right. It’s, it’s really here just gathering more insight, more, you know, getting more connected to our heart, more connected to love and what is real or genuinely real in our lives. And that’s a very different approach to fixing ourselves or, you know, figuring stuff out because even just figuring stuff out, sometimes we, we can, you know, add to the blocks in our lives. Right. So it’s great. It’s great. I, I get this openness. So dealing with our emotions, acceptance, genuine acceptance of our, you know, and what is, what is possible for our healing is so key and that’s really coming through.

Christine M. Okezie (39m 23s):
We’re living in very interesting times. I love the lens that you look through life with. I’d love for you to share, you know, what is giving you hope these days. And what’s the best way to navigate these really turbulent times.

Liza Miron (39m 39s):
You know, I see people and I see every single one of them as a diamond pool of love. And each one is like, you know, we have these diamonds that are, have all these different faces. And some of the people here have parts of the diamond that are very clouded, that are dirty, that are muddy. And then they’re not able to see clearly how beautiful and how they shine. And they’re just in that process of learning. And through that confusion, there’s, you know, distortion, there’s a conflict there’s hurt for themselves and from others, but inside where all these diamonds and you know, I like this whole idea of the world and all the things that are going on, I kind of like focus on people and then I go to the groceries and then I suddenly see someone that suddenly looks at another person that drops something and runs to grab it and give it to them and they connect each other with their eyes.

Liza Miron (40m 42s):
And then, I mean, so for me, all those moments that I see of love and kindness on the simple, you know, the most simple ways of daily interaction of human beings. Yeah. That’s what brings me hope and not even hope because I don’t feel that I need hope. You know, I think that we are where we are because that’s where we need to be and beautiful. We’re in this process and we’re doing the best we can. And, and I think it’s a beautiful process and yes, it’s a, you know, difficult process because it’s a, you know, all this changes are bringing a lot of, you know, death and diff and wars and, and the climate in the world and, and you know, uncomfortable situations.

Liza Miron (41m 25s):
But then I always go back, like to look at you and look at your eyes and your kindness and your wisdom. And it’s like, why do I need hope if we’re all perfect. If we are pure love inside of us, we are where we are supposed to be. Each person is where they’re supposed to be learning in their own path, in their own way, in their own rhythm. And then I see the love inside of every single person. And I say, life is wonderful. Life is beautiful. There’s so much love. And I’m so happy. I’m so peaceful. I’m so grateful for where I am. Yeah.

Christine M. Okezie (41m 58s):
Yeah. Oh my goodness. Thank you, Lisa. This is amazing. And so for people who wanna dive into more of what you do and try family constellations, you know, please share what’s the best way for them to do that?

Liza Miron (42m 12s):
Well, I have my website, that’s called CoachingandConstellations.com. Excellent. That’s the best way, because through my website, you will find my YouTube channel. You will also find my podcast. You will also find my link to do appointments. You will also find a page with all the events that I do in person and also online. So if you go to my website, you will find all the other things that I have with a lot of information that can be helpful.

Christine M. Okezie (42m 39s):
Thank you so much. And is there any other thing that you wanna leave our listeners with that maybe I didn’t know enough to ask?

Liza Miron (42m 44s):
Well, the only thing that I wanna share is that part of coming always to the present yes. Because where sometimes get lost, I’m trying to, you know, fix the past in order for us to be happy and to be, you know, fulfilled in this moment. Yeah. Good point. Or to get something in the future in order to, you know, be happy in order to be, you know, I’m gonna get a partner that loves me and then I’m gonna, you know, feel love. I’m gonna get this house that I want. I’m gonna get this job that I want. And then, and then we keep our lives waiting because they’re not the ones that are gonna actually make us feel fulfilled and happy and at peace and connected. Yes. The only ones that can do that is ourselves.

Liza Miron (43m 24s):
And the only moment to do it is in the present moment. So I invite everybody to make the decision because it’s a decision that I’m gonna be okay right now. And I’m gonna love myself and I’m gonna feel fulfilled with my life, how it is in this present moment. Right now, if we make decision, you know, this decision, every single moment, we suddenly realize that, you know, the life is okay without rejecting the difficulties or the problems or the, you know, difficult emotions accepting that part. But even with that, we are able to connect to beauty. We’re able to connect to the things that we do have that we can be grateful for. Yes. And then we start living with more peace. So I just want to remind everybody to remember that the only moment is the present.

Liza Miron (44m 8s):
So make the decision to in this present moment to be grateful, to, to feel complete and fulfilled with the way you are perfect, the way you are.

Christine M. Okezie (44m 18s):
I love it so much. Beautiful wisdom there. Thank you so much, Lisa, it’s been a gift to talk to you today and I’m grateful you’re out in the world sharing this beautiful light of yours. So thank you.

Liza Miron (44m 28s):
Well, thank you so much for the invitation and for the podcast and, and to help this information also reach more people. Thank you so much. Thank you.